i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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