i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
