what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
