Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
