i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
