I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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