when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
