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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why do cheetos always look like penises
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
