in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
