i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Found your dick twin last night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
