Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
