Where is the hickey?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
