You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
