I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
