Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
