Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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