Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
