some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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