I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize