He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My vagina is very pro this idea
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