I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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