Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
