so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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