He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
