i think my mom watched the whole time
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
