remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
