I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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