if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
