I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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