I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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