I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
