Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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