Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
