I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
