walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
