summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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