My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
