So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
