woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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