Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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