Kareoke will never be a sober sport
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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