Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
