We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
