i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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