So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
