Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
