Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
