he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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