you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
