that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
