fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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