Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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