But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
