turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
