Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
