White coat. Heels.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize