apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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