Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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