After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
