Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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